By Not Known
Hi, my name is “Living Dead”. I know what you are thinking already… what a name! But I really feel like one. “Living” is like my baptism name; that’s what I aspire to do as a Christian. “Dead” is like my natural name; it’s the reality that I struggle in daily. Here’s a week’s worth of my [fictional] diary entries… read it and you’ll understand what I mean.
Monday – I jumped out of bed today, shocked by the alarm, heart pounding, and feeling like a piece of dead meat. I love my work, but I’ve just had too much to do, and too little sleep… how will I last another year like this? God-willing, He has given us 60 or 70 years to live. I can’t imagine what will be left of my body and health by that age… this is suffering…
Tuesday – I was terribly angry about that situation today! I knew I need to be kind, but my little humility couldn’t rein in my injured pride. I felt ashamed for shelling my critic with words that hurt. What a wrecked sinner I am… sorry God that I’ve shamed your name… but it was a very big struggle…
Wednesday – Ten from my department were axed today. The air was tense. I felt sorry for them for quite a while before that feeling of pity turned on me… I might just be the next to go. I can’t sleep. I’m anxious about life itself… hopeless about the future.
Thursday – My mobile phone rang just when I was about to settle down for a good dinner. I took the call and that killed my appetite. A dear friend had just died from a heart attack. He was a fine Christian man, a godly example, a great encourager. Very sad! What a loss! I wished it hadn’t gone that way for him. I wished we could be brothers-in-Christ here on earth for more years to come. But now, I could only mourn.
Friday – Finally, the weekend is coming! Yeah! But Monday is around the corner too… if living is just about going round the clock, toiling until life runs out, what then am I living for? Is there a higher calling for a lowly creature like me?
Saturday/Sunday – I turn to the Bible again these days. I Corinthians 15:19 “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.” Yet, Jesus said in John 11:25-26 “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
LORD, I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief. I don’t want to be a “Living Dead”. Empower me, by the same power that raised Christ from the dead, to live well for your sake until I see you face to face in the great and glorious day of my own resurrection in Christ. Amen!
Benson Goh